1/3/08

Global Warming My Ass that Just Froze Off

It's negative four degrees here. I am in day eight of what I have determined is some strain of the Black Death. When I went outside this morning I greeted my next door neighbor by hocking a wad of electric green phlegm into a snowbank.

WHERE THE HELL IS THIS WONDROUS PROMISE OF GLOBAL WARMING?!?! Mama needs some heat! Hell, I'd settle for my boogers not freezing the instant I walk outside.

As I laid in bed, awake at 4 am, sweating and blowing my nose for the 1056th time, I calculated that my tuberculosis has caused me to use 6 boxes of tissues since last Thursday. After work today, make that 7. My poor little (okay, I'm Italian, not that little) nose is bright red, raw and in excruciating pain.

I love winter as much as the next Northern gal, but for christsake, I need a freaking break here.

1 comment:

j said...

Yeah, Puffs is basically going to give every exec a 400% raise thanks to me.

I've been using the thick Neutrogena Hand Cream, but as quick as I put it on, it comes off on the next tissue.

M is sick too, so Max isn't getting a whole lot of play time! I think he's going stir crazy. Tomorrow we're taking him to see his BFF (my parents' dog) so he can burn off all of this excess energy.