Just Plain Tacky

Let me preface this post by saying that I got married 8 years ago. We had almost 200 people at our wedding and after a one week honeymoon, we returned, spent a day recovering from jet lag and then wrote a personalized thank you note for each and every single gift that we received (i.e. "Dear Uncle Carl and Aunt Mavis, Thank you for the beautiful crystal clock, which will look amazing on our mantle. We would also like to thank you for spending our special day with us, it meant so much to have our friends and family join us.") All of our thank you notes were in the mail within 8 days of the wedding.

Now, we went to a wedding two weeks ago, and there were less than 100 people in attendance. Considering that we didn't know the bride and groom (we know the parents) we gave what I believe to be an incredibly generous cash gift. Today, we received our thank you note in the mail, and I was very impressed that we got it so fast (I'm still waiting for a thank you from a gift that I gave 9 years ago.) So, I open the note, and imagine my surprise when I find a pre-printed generic thank you note! So generic, in fact, that the bride and groom didn't even bother to write "Dear Carl and Mavis,". They basically signed the bottom of the note, stuck it in an envelope and stuck it in the mail. They could have signed those things months ago, before they even knew who was going to be at the wedding!

I am so disgusted right now, I don't even know what else to say. We suffered through a ceremony packed in a chapel with no air conditioning on a 87 degree day that we had to drive 40 minutes into the boondocks to get to, and then listen to two stupid kids talk like they invented love, then drive 40 minutes back to civilization to attend a reception with terrible food... I at least expect the fucking bride and groom to whip out a pen and write me a fucking thank you note.

People never cease to amaze me with their white trashiness.

Wow

And to think people get their panties in a bunch here over the alleged homosexuality of a rectangular talking sponge.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/WORLD/meast/06/29/hamas.mouse.ap/index.html

Good for a Laugh

I'm such a sucker for baseball mascot shenanigans.

I also still laugh when I hear the term "booby trap".

Parents of the Year Nominees, Line Up Here!

There's a show on TLC called "Honey We're Killing the Kids". It's basically about crappy parents that feed their kids fast food, and then plunk them down in front of the TV. The episode that I'm watching now features a six year old that weighs twice what he should and an eleven year old that weighs as much as a sixteen year old should. There's also a daughter that's well on her way to hotness.

These parents always seem shocked to learn that a steady diet of McDonald's and pizza is actually not a good thing. I mean, when your kid can barely squeeze through a doorway, you have to know on some level that you're fucking things up.

Not to sound like I'm sitting in the rocking chair of the nursing home porch, but when I was a kid going to McDonald's was a treat. If I got to eat there once a month, I was lucky. Of course, I also rode my bike for at least 2-3 hours a day on a school day and probably 8 hours on a weekend.

I guess I just find it interesting that people who don't know that a six year old eating four slices of pizza is a bad thing feel that their DNA is something worth replicating.

If This Doesn't Wreak of Journalistic Integrity

Now, regardless of how you feel about Michael Moore, while his movies are technically "entertainment", they also tackle issues. His current movie deals with the issue of health care in America. And again, agree with him or not, the topics he chooses to address are hot button issues that can be debated and discussed.

On the other hand, Paris Hilton flashes her cooch and puts penises in her mouth.

Larry King sure does represent America, journalism, CNN and literate people in a way we can all be proud of.

Amusing

I got this in my email, and found it entertaining.

The small arrow:
The mystery is finally solved!
How does the small arrow on your computer monitor work when you move the mouse? Haven't you ever wondered how it works?
Now, through the miracle of technology, we can see how it is done.
With the aid of a screen magnifying lens, the mechanism becomes apparent.
Click on the link below and you will find out.
Slowly move your mouse over the light grey circle and you will see how the magic works.
Follow this link and find out the truth http://www.1-click.jp/

Another Reason on the List

We went to a party a few weeks ago, and the people throwing the party have two kids- 6 and 2.5 years old.

During the course of this party, the 6 year old shit her pants six times.

I swear to you that I am not making this up. She was just walking around shitting her pants. Six times! Upon inquiring, we were told that the kid was not sick, but for some reason decided that she was just going to shit her pants.

How my husband and I didn't collapse into a puddle of laughter, I do not know. Since then, we have cracked up about it repeatedly.

We now have reason 492,750,370 on the list of why we don't want kids. Apparently, they shit their pants well after the Pampers years.

For the record, we now refer to this kid as "Ol' Pants Shitter".

You Can Get With

this...

Or you can get with that...

Perhaps they should tack on 11- Thou shalt not get all drunked up and crash thine pickup truck into a Mexican restaurant.

Why Not Rump Shaker?

So, my favorite disgrace to women, Hillary Clinton, announced that her campaign song is going to be some Celine Dion piece of shit.

I can't think of anything that could rile up a crowd like Celine freaking Dion. I don't think that going after the lonely, crazy cat-lady vote is going to win this election for her.

Not to mention the fact that Celine Dion isn't even American. Then again, Hillary isn't a New Yorker, so apparently she sees a world without borders.

I'll have to wait and see what Rudy, John and Barrack pick for their campaign songs...

Oh, and by the way, why do we need an announcement about her fucking campaign song?!? Aren't there more pressing issues out there? Apparently not.

Okay, Here's the Deal...

1- A dog's body was meant to have litters, not a woman's. There is nothing that spectacular about your DNA that you have to have your own children at the expense of the welfare system. Consider adopting a child that no one wants instead of contaminating the planet with kids that will inherit your shitty decision making skills.

2- The term is "in arrears" not "in the rears".

3- If your arms are as thick as your thighs, DON'T wear tank tops to work. No one wants to see that and you could kill someone if you turn around too quickly.

BAAA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Geek Christmas!

I got my new computer today! YAY!!!

There is nothing more exciting than new computer arrival day. Of course, all of my stuff is on my old computer, so now I have to decide if I want to just add the old computer to the network or just get a cord and get my stuff off of it.

I'd definitely be a geek if the computer to geek ratio in my house was 3:2. Of course, if you include the beagle, then it's really a 1:1.

My new monitor hasn't come yet, so the Holiday will be extended a few more days! It's a flat, wide screen. 19 inches of computer viewing. I CAN'T WAIT!

For now, I'll just have to deal with my older than Windows 3.1 clunker of a monitor. Okay, it's not older than 3.1, but it is older than XP.