My husband watches a lot of college football so sometimes, by association, I end up accidentally watching it. Today, I was contemplating what is the point of cheerleaders?
First, let's examine the etymology of the word (with the help of dictionary.com) "Cheer": a shout of encouragement, approval, congratulation. "Leader": a guiding or directing head. So, what were talking about is an individual to guide the process of shouting encouragement.
Is this really necessary? I've been to a lot of sporting events at all levels and never once have I been sitting in a crowd of silent people looking around, puzzled and muttering "Now what? What are we supposed to do?" Then, like Superman swooping down from the sky, in somersaults taaa daa!!! THE CHEERLEADERS!! Thanks to their hours of intensive training and God given skill The Cheerleaders were able to guide us through a series of rhythmic phrases and changes of tone and volume. As if by miracle, the crowd is now able to cheer and the team, unable to perform in the deafening silence, is cheered to sweet victory! At the end of the game, as the tears flow the team owner goes on national television to tell the world that, had it not been for the grace and courage of The Cheerleaders, none of this would have been possible.
I mean, really, has that happened? I haven't heard about it, and I'm pretty sure that I would have heard.
So, what is the point? Why does any sports team need a group of barely dressed women in ponytails shaking pom poms and making the #1 sign with their fingers? How does this serve any purpose?
That's why I like baseball and hockey. No cheerleaders.
9/29/07
I Like Karma
It's always fun to see Karma in action. This past week I received my high school alumni magazine. As I was flipping through there was a group photo of some people from around the year that I graduated (a long, long, long time ago; our mascot was a real, live dinosaur!) So, I was looking at the caption and matching it up to the people in the photo and most looked as I remembered them, except for one. I won't use his real name, so I'll make one up. We'll call him Fanny Sotlow.
In high school he was a total asshole. He treated his girlfriends like shit, he was nasty, arrogant and pretty dumb. But, he was good looking and I think, blame it on raging hormones, a lot of people gave him a pass. Well, old Fanny here was in said photograph and he is now fat and amazingly unattractive. I really had to study this photograph to see any resemblance to the kid that I knew and loathed in school.
Perhaps now that he's ugly, he has developed a personality (kind of like how blind people have a better sense of hearing), but I doubt it. I just love karma!
In high school he was a total asshole. He treated his girlfriends like shit, he was nasty, arrogant and pretty dumb. But, he was good looking and I think, blame it on raging hormones, a lot of people gave him a pass. Well, old Fanny here was in said photograph and he is now fat and amazingly unattractive. I really had to study this photograph to see any resemblance to the kid that I knew and loathed in school.
Perhaps now that he's ugly, he has developed a personality (kind of like how blind people have a better sense of hearing), but I doubt it. I just love karma!
9/21/07
It Must Be Friday
You know, I had a nice day at work, and I got to leave right on time. Yay, right?
No, wrong. I get on the Northway (at the very beginning) and traffic is stopped. Now, all of the annoying, driving-impaired motorists/tourists should be back in New Jersey and Quebec by this time of year, so I'm quite frankly baffled by this traffic.
I have Sirius in my car, so I call my mother to get the scoop. Nothing. So much for the drawback of satellite radio being that you don't get those super accurate traffic reports.
Twenty minutes later I'm slowly and not-so-surely approaching exit 6 when I see plumes of black smoke overhead. Then, a firetruck races up the right shoulder, shortly followed by one up the left shoulder. Shit. I'm never getting home.
About 10 cars in front of me, they shut down not one, not two but all three f'ing lanes of the Northway, so now I have to make my way from the left lane to the exit ramp. And all of the super awesome other drivers were so cool to let me go.*
Thankfully, the fire was right under the exit overpass, so I was able to get right back on at exit 6 at which time (since the highway was closed behind me) I was able to do 80 the rest of the way home. Here's a photo from the local news of the clusterfuck:
*sarcasm
No, wrong. I get on the Northway (at the very beginning) and traffic is stopped. Now, all of the annoying, driving-impaired motorists/tourists should be back in New Jersey and Quebec by this time of year, so I'm quite frankly baffled by this traffic.
I have Sirius in my car, so I call my mother to get the scoop. Nothing. So much for the drawback of satellite radio being that you don't get those super accurate traffic reports.
Twenty minutes later I'm slowly and not-so-surely approaching exit 6 when I see plumes of black smoke overhead. Then, a firetruck races up the right shoulder, shortly followed by one up the left shoulder. Shit. I'm never getting home.
About 10 cars in front of me, they shut down not one, not two but all three f'ing lanes of the Northway, so now I have to make my way from the left lane to the exit ramp. And all of the super awesome other drivers were so cool to let me go.*
Thankfully, the fire was right under the exit overpass, so I was able to get right back on at exit 6 at which time (since the highway was closed behind me) I was able to do 80 the rest of the way home. Here's a photo from the local news of the clusterfuck:
*sarcasm
9/20/07
Nerd Alert!!
I just started reading The Age of Turbulence by Alan Greenspan. I'm two pages in, and captivated beyond belief.
I'm just going to come right out and say it. I am in love with Alan Greenspan.
One of my college Econ professors told us (in his Indian accent) that "Alan Greenspan is married to a woman that is much younger than he. He has a lot of stamina... if you know what I mean."
I don't know if it was more disturbing to hear a small Indian Economics professor say something like this, or to think about Mr. Greenspan in such a manner. Regardless, I've never been able to look at old Al the same way again.
I'm just going to come right out and say it. I am in love with Alan Greenspan.
One of my college Econ professors told us (in his Indian accent) that "Alan Greenspan is married to a woman that is much younger than he. He has a lot of stamina... if you know what I mean."
I don't know if it was more disturbing to hear a small Indian Economics professor say something like this, or to think about Mr. Greenspan in such a manner. Regardless, I've never been able to look at old Al the same way again.
9/17/07
One of Those Days
Don't you hate when you realize at the very end of a long work day that you neglected to put on deodorant?
I would also like to point out that I do this often enough that I keep a spare in my car. Of course, it does me no good when I don't catch on until 5 minutes before I have to leave.
I really hope no one noticed. I don't want to be known as the stinky new girl.
I would also like to point out that I do this often enough that I keep a spare in my car. Of course, it does me no good when I don't catch on until 5 minutes before I have to leave.
I really hope no one noticed. I don't want to be known as the stinky new girl.
9/7/07
An Open Letter...
... to the guy on the Northway.
Please speed it up when there is a break in the gridlock. The speed limit is 55, which means that you can go 55. Hell, I'll let you in on a little secret: you can probably get away with 65; live on the edge!! Every freaking day there's a break in the traffic between exit 5 and exit 6. SPEED IT UP! I understand that you are a very big boy driving a very small car, but I bet if you put the pedal to the metal you might be able to get that little putt putt moving. And yes, your "Starfleet Academy" window sticker leads me to believe that you probably don't have some hot piece of ass waiting for you back in your mom's basement. But still, the faster you go, the sooner you can go home and jerk it to Revenge of the Sith.
In closing, I implore you for the good of the whole region: please, please do not go 30 miles per hour when there is no traffic and we are not in a Road Work Zone. I bet that Capt. Picard would go at least 60 in the old Enterprise! Go for it Milton!!
Thank you,
The Girl with the Active Middle Finger
Please speed it up when there is a break in the gridlock. The speed limit is 55, which means that you can go 55. Hell, I'll let you in on a little secret: you can probably get away with 65; live on the edge!! Every freaking day there's a break in the traffic between exit 5 and exit 6. SPEED IT UP! I understand that you are a very big boy driving a very small car, but I bet if you put the pedal to the metal you might be able to get that little putt putt moving. And yes, your "Starfleet Academy" window sticker leads me to believe that you probably don't have some hot piece of ass waiting for you back in your mom's basement. But still, the faster you go, the sooner you can go home and jerk it to Revenge of the Sith.
In closing, I implore you for the good of the whole region: please, please do not go 30 miles per hour when there is no traffic and we are not in a Road Work Zone. I bet that Capt. Picard would go at least 60 in the old Enterprise! Go for it Milton!!
Thank you,
The Girl with the Active Middle Finger
9/6/07
Week Three
I've been at the new job for almost three weeks, and I've already done more work than I did in three years at my last job.
I had almost forgotten what it was like for a day to fly by because I'm too busy to stare at the clock.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being overly optimistic, but at least I can say that, without a doubt, I made the right decision.
Of course, the flip side of being so busy is that by the time I get home I am wiped out! I need to really get into a rhythm here so I can function after work. If I don't get my shit together soon, we'll all be buried under the clutter that is taking over my house.
I'm going to sleep now. And I'm actually looking forward to work tomorrow! WOW!!!
I had almost forgotten what it was like for a day to fly by because I'm too busy to stare at the clock.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not being overly optimistic, but at least I can say that, without a doubt, I made the right decision.
Of course, the flip side of being so busy is that by the time I get home I am wiped out! I need to really get into a rhythm here so I can function after work. If I don't get my shit together soon, we'll all be buried under the clutter that is taking over my house.
I'm going to sleep now. And I'm actually looking forward to work tomorrow! WOW!!!
9/4/07
Ha ha!
Tomorrow the little yard apes up here go back to school.
I plan to point at them and laugh when I pass their bus stops on my way to work.
I plan to point at them and laugh when I pass their bus stops on my way to work.
Alert- Important Study Complete
I read this, and I was just shocked. Who would have ever thought that this would be the case?!?!
Oh, right, anyone with a penis or anyone that knows someone that has ever had a penis.
Christ.
Oh, right, anyone with a penis or anyone that knows someone that has ever had a penis.
Christ.
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