Sweet Baby Jebus

Boy, my Road Runner homepage has really crammed it up Hil's ass two days in a row. I'm not insinuating that she's Heidi Klum or anything, but for the love of crap first she's a used car salesman and now she's this... I don't even know WTF this is.

Would You Vote for this Woman?

I don't know, she just looks so skeevy in this picture. I know I'm a New Yorker, but there's no way I'm voting for old Thumbs-up McGee here.

For Mebbie

This is my favorite (with Me & My Llama coming in a close second) Sesame Street bit.

My Spam is Making Me Feel Old

All of a sudden I am being inundated with spam. I always had some here and there, but I must have gotten on someones sucker list in recent weeks.

I got two this week that made me feel kind of... okay, very... old.

The first was from Robert Half Finance & Accounting (not spam, I guess since I gave them my email when I was job hunting) with the subject line: "Attract and retain Generation Y employees – White Paper" As if to say "Now that you Gen X'ers are old and out of touch, how 'bout you find yourself a nice, young Gen Y'er to take your place!" The only redeeming part of the email is that it has a picture of an attractive 20-something male in a nice suit. I wouldn't mind attracting and retaining him!

The other email which is a real kick in the ass lets me know that "You may qualify for an electric wheelchair at little or no cost" Well, fan-fucking-tastic! Instead of a sexy post-teen sporting a come-hither look, this email features geriatric marketing god Ed McMahon. He goes on to tell us "Take my advice, life is better with a Pride Power Wheelchair from Orbit Medical."

I have to go to bed now, because I have to get up at 4am and have a bran muffin and some Metamucil. Then, I'm going to work in my garden for a while before I tell the kids next door to stay off my damn property.

Me Like Top Skules!

Somehow, I'm thinking a University of Phoenix graduate created this ad:











I mean, maybe this is just my bricks-and-mortar education speaking here, but isn't there a "your" missing from that sentence?

Woah!

I have a site that tells me where readers click onto my site and where they click out of it. So, apparently my last entry brought out the freaky deaky. The following is a list of Google searches that brought people to my lovely blog:

Google Search: client 9 anal
Google Search: spitzer anal
Google Search: new york governor anal sex
Google Search: emperors club vip anal
Google Search: client #9 anal
Google Search: spitzer anal
Google Search: spitzer 9 anal

Freakin' sweet.

A Vote for 'Client 9' is, Apparently, a Vote for Anal Sex

Well, it's been more than an eventful day in Albany today! My office (a State contractor nonetheless) was all abuzz for the last three hours of the day as we gathered around radios tuned to WGY waiting for word about how our exactly our governor was "linked" to a prostitution ring.

Was he a pimp? A john? A man whore?!?!

As it turns out he's 'Client 9', and he's going to be indicted. And according to all media reports has given no indication that he plans to resign. I mean, obviously he's going to have to resign, but the sanctimonious jerk off is going to put it off as long as possible. I have hate, hate, hated Spitzer since he was AG and could never understand why people found him to be such a crusader of justice. He frequently strong-armed large companies operating in New York out of money for no good reason. He always came across to me as a cocky asshole with a giant chip on his shoulder.

So, our governor is a super freak. According to the affidavit, the Governor of New York State was "a repeat customer who was known to propose unsafe activities." I can only assume that to mean anal sex. With a whore. Very clean, my man. In addition to all of this, he also had an account with the Emperors Club VIP so that he could secure his $1,000+ an hour whores in advance.

I just love that he fancies himself an Emperor.

Taxpayers of New York- WE PAID FOR THIS! His income is deducted directly from our paychecks.

The day before Valentine's Day, he paid $4,300 to have two whores take a train from New York to Washington DC (really, he couldn't get them a plane ticket?) The day before Valentine's Day. I hope he got his wife a bottle of Valtrex to go with the roses!

While it is pretty embarassing for the State of New York, I can say that 1- at least he didn't go all priest on us and nail a little boy; 2- I voted for John Faso; 3- I actually like the Lieutenant Governor. David Paterson seems to be an intelligent, level headed man that might actually contribute something to the State of New York. While he was on David Dinkins' staff during that disasterous (and dangerous!!) period of New York City's history, from what I can tell he's actually a good guy. I look forward to learning more about him in the next few days. Plus, he's going to make all kinds of history. He will be New York's first black governor, and the first blind governor in the country. Hopefully, he will not make additional history by schtupping a cat or something.